For me they represented dapper elegance in the years before the draft sent me to the U.S. Army.  In junior and senior year high school I remember the mirror showing me sporting a brown sports coat, brown trousers with dark brown transversal lines, white shirt, and a brown tie leaning on a tiny gold or silver rod that connected the ends of the shirt collar.   Spats covered the oxford shoes.  A white handkerchief deftly fit in the front pocket of the coat.  I can’t remember the movie star I fancied to mimic but he must have been good-looking.  The reader may ask, why brown?    Well, brown is or was popular in rural areas since it reminded people of the earth, the source of their livelihood. 

While these spats were designed for show, they also had a practical effect.  The cloth covering the shoe warmed the feet during the cold and snowy Midwestern winters when style-oriented young men did not want to go out wearing ugly overshoes.

In case these words stimulate the reader to yearn for spats in 2010, he can go to the Internet and find instructions and illustrations for making his own.  He may find that this example and web site post may help bring this long-neglected accessory back in style.  Perish the thought!

It is apparent, however, that merely waking up one day and resolving to become a concert pianist will not result in fame and fortune.  The author cites evidence that the month of birth and environment of the youngster have decisive influence.  Nevertheless, vigorous and sustained practice will produce the desired results for nature’s chosen candidate.

Obviously, most senior citizens don’t want to, or cannot, set aside 10.000 hours to attain an improbable dream.  Thankfully, within reach are many desirable and reasonable objectives for improving daily lives.  Circumstances vary from person to person, but some type of physical and intellectual activity is available for almost anyone, and there are public and private agencies eager to help. 

There is one responsibility for the senior.  He or she must resolve to overcome age-related inertia and participate in activities that teach new skills or expand social contacts.

No. II Before her first plane ride friends, told a little old lady that chewing gum would keep her ears from popping during the flight..  After finally landing, she turned to her seat companion and said, “The chewing gum works fine, but how do I get it out of my ears?”

Unfortunately, misinterpretations are not confined to the third age.  Young people, too, are occasional victims.

 Mother:  “Did you thank Mrs. Jones for the lovely party she gave? 

             Tommy:  “No, mommy.  The girl leaving just before me thanked her, and Mrs. Jones said ‘Don’t mention it.’  “So I didn’t.”

Publications and books abound with suggestions that will not cure, but which may help the victim manage the problem . Victim is the appropriate word because the problem is usually not the fault of the stymied speaker.  The medical community assigns most of the blame to the hostile aging process.  I used to give speeches 20-30 minutes in length with no discernible notes but with prior study and rehearsal.  Yes, I had a “safety net” of notes hidden in a jacket pocket ready to use in an emergency.

Recently, on observing my uncertain delivery, a much younger professional  speaker in the audience suggested I use notes, her regular practice.  This is a good idea, but it does not eliminate the necessity of thorough knowledge of the subject. 

Another hint is talking around (circumlocution) a forgotten sentence or idea.  If the speaker knows the subject well, this technique can cause some slight hesitation and even a stammer or two, but it may avoid major embarrassment.

Medical science has made a lot of progress, but much remains to be done.  Senior citizens, both professional speakers and others, clamor for a big reduction in cases of short-term memory loss.  They eagerly await the progress of science. 

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As a youth I was only moderately active, but about the time of the Royal Canadian Air Force Exercise Book, I vigorously embraced our northern neighbor’s  physical fitness ethos by doing the prescribed movements.   After I suffered a degenerated lower disk in 1972, the legendary Dr. Paul Williams prescribed back exercises which I followed regularly for several years.  Five or six subsequent orthopedists since suggested variations, but the routine continued.

Dr, Williams did not like the stress on the joints resulting from running. so to appease me he suggested jogging in place with hands on the back of a lower chair or on a table while rapidly moving the legs backwards and forwards. This style of jogging from ten to 30 minutes in hotel rooms at night did not create  contented neighbors, especially on the floor below.  After maybe two years of this, I became seriously interested in swimming, and after much practice, a goal of one mile per 50 minutes was reached.   Since walking was and is a popular physical activity, I did a lot of it also. This new zeal prevailed until about 2004, when physical symptoms required a change of routine.

Currently the exercise consists of muscle movements, weight lifting and water therapy.

Almost everyone probably wonders whether all of this activity is worth the time invested.   I take comfort from a fitness fanatic who remarked: “At least you know you will die healthy.”

Although simple, it does require a little preparation in advance.  Before the visit, obtain minimal facts about the new person’s country such as its history, geography or accomplishments of its citizens.  Extensive research is unnecessary.  Finally, during the encounter, look for opportunities to ask a question based on the information you read.  In all likelihood the visitor will be flattered, maybe even elated, that you show interest in some aspect of his homeland.

A few examples of such questions with the appropriate foreign visitor: “Why is Benito Juarez such a popular figure in Mexico?

In the Welsh settlements of Argentina do the people keep their language and culture? Borneo is fascinating land.  Have you seen some of its interesting animals?

With appropriate variations this technique can be used in any new encounter anywhere.  For your next visit advanced study may not be necessary.  You may already have questions in mind you’ve always wanted to ask somebody.

An American senior tourist attempted to smuggle a bottle of tequila across the Mexican border.  A customs official asked what it was.  “Holy water from the Shrine,” replied the tourist.  The official took a sip and exclaimed, “This is tequila.”  “My, another miracle!” replied the tourist.

An automobile was weaving along the highway.  Finally it overturned three times and landed right side up.  The aging driver emerged completely unharmed. An arriving police officer grabbed the man by the shirt collar “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”  “Of course, “ replied the driver, “what do you think I am……a stunt driver?

A senior is stopped by a cop who says, “You’re going to get a ticket for speeding.”  The octogenarian says,  “I was only doing 40 miles an hour,” and the cop says, “No, you were doing 50 miles in a 30-mile zone”  The driver argues “I was doing only 40.” And his wife pops up and says, “Don’t argue with my husband when he has been drinking.”

Three aging buddies are heavy drinkers.  Every Friday evening they drink to the point of inebriation.  Then one leaves the room, and the other two try to guess who left.

And here’s one about that famous imbiber, Dean Martin, in his younger days.  A friend reported that Dean finally solved his drinking problem:  He wears an old suit in case he falls down too often.

The reanimated senior ripped off his clothes and invaded the show.  Soon there were shouts, laughter, clapping and raucous comments from the resulting disorder.  Then  the aged streaker joined his friend who asked how it went.  “Oh,” he said, “I won the prize for best dried arrangement.”

This unlikely story illustrates the role of the absurd in humor which almost always makes a story funny.  The synonym ludicrous may better describe the flower show encounter since it is laughably absurd.

The comments and antics of children usually bring laughter  The famous radio and TV personality of yesteryear, Art Linkletter, was a fan of kids’ comments and even wrote a book titled “Kids Say the Darndest Things.”   At hand for the bored  person tiring of senior jokes are juvenile remarks that are not only funny but often wise as well.

The following comments did not come from Mr. Linkletter.  Instead they are from the web site of a  Texas newspaper, HeraldDemocrat.com of February 19, 2009:  Alan, age 10, responding to “ How do you decide who to marry?” “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.  Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports and she should keep the chips and dip coming.”

And to “What do you think your mom and dad have in common?”  Lori, age 8, reported “Both don’t want any more kids.”

After considering the opposite ends of the age range, the interested observer is left with middle age which lends itself to mordant humor:  Unlike the young and senior citizens, people in middle age have to take care of themselves.

The blog becomes a sales agent when it serves as a website, and the sales person can use it to persuade prospects to buy the product or service on display.

Other phenomena for selling confront the Internet surfer.  Many have signed on to Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, You Tube, Flickr and who knows how many more?

Another electronic medium used to sell is Telemarketing which is well-known to anyone with a telephone.  The calls, often at inopportune hours, irritated so many that the Government imposed  a “Don’t Call” system.  I now receive almost no such calls, but relatives in Florida and Maryland still report a large number.  Ironically, while in the past complaining about such intrusions, I use the technique  in a very limited way to call prospective customers (never at mealtime or bedtime).

Television and radio are costly media for selling a product or service.  Charges vary widely, but at a minimum the cost will probably be $5.00 for a 30-second program.   They are effective, however, they may be best for those with bigger budgets.

Much of this blog deals with sales by people.  It is also possible to use print to make sales.

 A generation ago the company letterhead was called a “silent salesman.”  It began to sell the moment the recipient opened the envelope.  It continued to sell into the future if the recipient retained it.  In its day Hammermill Papers placed numerous ads featuring creative ways for bond paper to sell letterheads.

 One campaign, “Your Letterhead Is You.,” cited five possible company personalities, i.e. conservative, dignified, friendly, service-minded and product-minded with a letterhead to match.

 An important factor in letterhead success is the color of the paper.  Hammermill addressed that with the advertising slogan “White is always right, but color makes the difference.”  Color enhances the letterhead design.  It is also important in advertising pieces.  Businesses report greater response to flyers printed on colored paper than on plain white stock.

 Letterheads and paper advertisers have declined in importance, but the paper business card remains essential to sales.  There is no hint of a convenient replacement.  Online templates and printers makes it available to all, but a qualified designer may better portray the product or service being sold.

 There still are sales opportunities in newspapers and other publications, but the digital media  has lessened their popularity.