V i r g i l ’ s V i e w s

For whatever reasons,  seniors often misinterpret  or get a false impression of the words uttered by the people around them. No. I  One day a cardiologist was looking out the window of his downtown office and on the sidewalk below saw a  prancing young lady on the arms of one of his very senior patients who was moving at a similar pace.. The next day the gentleman came in for his monthly medical review.  The doctor marveled “I can see that you are doing well, really well.”  ”Yes, doctor,” replied the senior, “I owe it all to you.  You told me to get a hot mama and be cheerful.”  “I did not tell you that “exclaimed the doctor.  I said you that you have a heart murmur. Be careful.”

No. II Before her first plane ride friends, told a little old lady that chewing gum would keep her ears from popping during the flight..  After finally landing, she turned to her seat companion and said, “The chewing gum works fine, but how do I get it out of my ears?”

Unfortunately, misinterpretations are not confined to the third age.  Young people, too, are occasional victims.

 Mother:  “Did you thank Mrs. Jones for the lovely party she gave? 

             Tommy:  “No, mommy.  The girl leaving just before me thanked her, and Mrs. Jones said ‘Don’t mention it.’  “So I didn’t.”

An aging priest in rural Chile was preaching a sermon.  He halted abruptly and with embarrassment muttered “I’ve lost my thought. “Immediately, a parishioner jumped up and yelled to all “Nobody leave until the father finds his thought.”  Based on personal experience that congregation will not be able to wait for that unlikely event.  This good cleric suffered a frustration that seniors worldwide acknowledge daily, i.e. short term memory loss.  Vexed speakers seek a real remedy which, sadly, does not normally exist. 

Publications and books abound with suggestions that will not cure, but which may help the victim manage the problem . Victim is the appropriate word because the problem is usually not the fault of the stymied speaker.  The medical community assigns most of the blame to the hostile aging process.  I used to give speeches 20-30 minutes in length with no discernible notes but with prior study and rehearsal.  Yes, I had a “safety net” of notes hidden in a jacket pocket ready to use in an emergency.

Recently, on observing my uncertain delivery, a much younger professional  speaker in the audience suggested I use notes, her regular practice.  This is a good idea, but it does not eliminate the necessity of thorough knowledge of the subject. 

Another hint is talking around (circumlocution) a forgotten sentence or idea.  If the speaker knows the subject well, this technique can cause some slight hesitation and even a stammer or two, but it may avoid major embarrassment.

Medical science has made a lot of progress, but much remains to be done.  Senior citizens, both professional speakers and others, clamor for a big reduction in cases of short-term memory loss.  They eagerly await the progress of science. 

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